Pilgrimage

I was sitting in a bible study one Sunday morning where a West African Bible teacher was sharing about building a strong family.  He talked about God’s purposes for the family being a means to transmit the gospel from generation to generation.  He also spoke of the biblical role of the father to literally lay his hands on his wife and children to bless them in the name of the Lord. I had assumed that was only Old Testament symbolism and not a modern day practice. Yet upon further inspection of the scriptures, I was convicted that I had never ceremonially and spiritually blessed my family.

Although I had been through Bible college, seminary and served several years as a staff pastor, I had failed to learn an essential aspect of what it means to be part of a biblical family.  Modeling God’s favor and grace to younger generations is at the core of the gospel.  Allowing my children to not only hear me pray for them, but also feel me physically lay my hands on them and seek God’s blessings for them is a powerful witness they will not soon forget.

It seems there has never been a greater attack on the institution of marriage and the role of the family than it is today.  Our secular, pluralistic culture views marriage as an institution of convenience to solidify contractual obligations between two parties. Thus marriage can be between a man and a woman, or two men or two women.  To them, it doesn’t matter who is involved in the relationship because it is only to satisfy legal obligations such as healthcare benefits, home purchases, taxes, etc.  Fortunately, there are many churches stepping up to the plate to offer families’ realistic solutions to real world challenges.

Practically ministering to families requires leadership.  Pastors and church leaders set the example for their congregations.  When the one behind the pulpit has a strong marriage and intentionally disciples his family, it will show through his preaching and teaching.  Leaders that take proactive steps to protect their marriage will, by example, lead parishioners to have stronger marriages as well.  It is a powerful witness to a congregation when a pastor says no to an evening church activity because he has decided go with his wife on a date night or watch his children play a ball game.

In some ways, the mega-church phenomenon has negatively impacted many families in ministry leadership.  It has led some leaders to believe that fast-paced preaching schedules and time away from the home are a means to positively impact God’s kingdom.  In reality, the Christian marriage is the scriptural symbol of Christ’s relationship to the church.  It should be everyone’s first mission field.  It would profit one very little to preach to the whole world from a broken home.

A second way to practically encourage marriage and family enrichment in the church is to help families learn ways to overcome economic challenges.  A recent survey conducted by Citibank states that 57% of divorced couples cite finances as the reason for their break-up.  It is not by coincidence that the world is currently in an economic crisis.  The desire for material possessions has infiltrated the church to a significant degree and God has noticed.  The challenges our world is facing may be a tool God is using to divorce the church from materialism.  Churches, in turn, should help their families do the same.

Strong teaching and preaching in the areas of finance and money management is essential.  Families that are unencumbered by debt are free to follow God’s will without concern for paying creditors.  They also are free to give to ministries and individuals that are advancing the gospel.  All money is God’s money and His people should be good stewards of it.

A third way churches can practically minister to families is through bearing one another’s burdens.  The Bible says in Galatians 6:2, “Bear one another’s burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ.”  Teaching families to reach out to other families in the church—especially new believers or church members—is a key way to encourage couples to invest time in their marriage.

Offering couples a “Parent’s Night Out” can be a great way to help husbands and wives invest time in each other.  In our transient society, it often takes years for parents to feel comfortable leaving their children in the care of friends or neighbors.  A Parent’s Night Out at the church, however, can provide the security a couple is looking for and the time away they desperately need.  Adequate security (worker background checks, locked doors, age appropriate toys, etc) and a clearly communicated plan for the evening can help alleviate even the most protective parent’s fears.

Fourthly, churches should make it very clear that God will hold parents accountable for the discipleship of their children.  In the Old Testament, God continually instructs Israel to use object lessons to communicate their special relationship with Him.  This was not the priest’s responsibility; it was the parents.  One example is in Exodus 12.  God commands the households of Israel to regularly celebrate the Passover so that when the children asked their parents why they were observing this custom, it would give the parents an opportunity to share about God’s deliverance.

Churches must equip and encourage parents to have daily family devotions and prayer times.  Children need to see their parents encounter God in the home.  This provides another opportunity for the pastor to lead by example.  Church leadership should openly discuss how to overcome the scheduling challenges to family devotions.  They should also discuss the rewards of establishing this regular family discipline.

Finally, encouraging families to pray for one another is essential to battle the forces of darkness that continually seek to destroy what God has created.  Throughout history, those who have diligently committed themselves to prayer have become forerunners of mighty moves of God.  Parents must teach their children how to tarry before the Lord in prayer.  Churches can help parents learn the essentials of prayer and how to model it before their children.

One means of communicating the basics of family prayer is through corporate prayer times.  These should not be solemn occasions where no children are allowed.  Jesus said, “Allow the little children to come to me.”  One of the ways we can do this is by calling family prayer meetings at the church.  Children often mimic what they observe.  Seeing Dad and Mom in prayer will help compel them to pray as well.

In our day, God is once again stirring His people to seek Him with diligence.  Around the world, Christian families are growing larger biologically as well as through adoption.  A veritable army of families is being raised up with a conviction to practically share the gospel with the next generation.  Parents are taking seriously their call to instill a biblical worldview in their children.

Practical family ministry has undergone significant changes in the last few decades.  The message of strong families united by the Spirit of God, however, has remained consistent throughout history.  Churches that invest themselves in marriages and families with intentionality will effect positive change and reap great spiritual dividends.

*Published in the Church of God Evangel (Nov. 2009)